Hey Happy Tummies! Yep, it’s my BIRTHDAYYYY! One year older today!!
I've got to be honest…This past year has been a tough one. Very tough.
And let me just digress for one moment here before I delve into my narrative. My good friend Sarah over at This is What I Eat tagged me in the Hope Relay! So a big big thank you to Sarah!
It’s funny the way things work out sometimes. Because just last night, on the eve of my birthday, I had a long chat with my mom about this very topic.
OK, truth time – It was more than just a chat – It was more of a tear-filled, angry-at-times, “real” moment for me, with my mom being the comforting shoulder to cry on.
You see, this was more than a birthday for me. It was a milestone. A marker. An irritating reminder. As you know, I have Ulcerative Colitis, and have been in a flare for a long time. Nearly a year.
Last year, I spent my birthday in NYC, where I was living. I was in a show, hanging out with all my friends. Life was great. Mid-show: I started flaring. September 16 to be exact. My mom came out and lived with me to help me finish the show in such a debilitated state of health. I then had to move home because of the flare.
It has been almost a full year. My body has rejected all of the UC medications to help me get back into remission. There are 2 options left, which are dirty megadrugs – and even those only work in a small number of patients.
So last night, I was angry. It was the first time since being sick that I really allowed myself to go to that dark place. I don’t like negativity, but sometimes you have to mourn. And last night I was mourning the loss of that year of life. I had a lot of hopes and dreams for that year that I’ve had to completely surrender. Did I ever think that I would spend that “golden year” on a couch, writhing in pain for the majority of the day? No. I thought I would be in NYC, living out my dreams, having fun with friends, flourishing. Last night, I finally allowed myself to be angry about that.
But then hope stepped in.
After a good 20 minutes of tears, the conversation shifted. You see hope is a funny thing. Even though this past year was not the life that I had planned for me, I was supposed to endure this trial. I was supposed to go through this for a reason.
Like gold refined by fire, I know that I’m supposed to learn something invaluable from all of this. And I have hope in that. I have learned so much from this time here at home. It may not sound like it after reading about last night’s episode, but I really have. I have been taught so much patience and trust. I’ve had to surrender everything and trust that God is going to see me through this. I have hope in that.
I have hope in this new Specific Carb Diet. A lot of my symptoms have improved since implementing it. Not 100%, not even 80%, but they’re improving.
And most importantly, I have hope in this coming year of life for me. Life. That’s exactly what it is. I am so thankful for life, and am going to make the absolute most of it. When I’m healed, I am going to live life to the absolute fullest – overflowing – spilling onto those around me and filling up theirs too. Watch out world :)
One doesn’t appreciate life until it’s gone. Or appreciate health until theirs has been compromised. Joy until they’ve experienced true loss. Prosperity until they’ve been without.
I have hope in my future. Starting today. On my birthday.
Thanks for letting me indulge in a little introspective meandering.
little strawberries peeping through!
And on that note, I’d like to tag: (Don’t feel obligated – it’s summer!:) )
Thank you again to Sarah for the tag:) You rock girl!
a sweet ending to my birthday!
So for a birthday treat today, I made Strawberry Cupcakes! Yep, they’re Gluten Free and Specific Carb Diet friendly!
SCD friendly and gluten/dairy free!
How’s that, you ask? Well…they’re made with almond flour! So not only are they grain free, but they are also protein powerhouses!
And SO incredibly delicious. And cute too. All they needed were a pair of black and white saddle shoes and they were ready to party:)
yay grain free!
PS: I have not tried to make these vegan with a flax/chia egg, so I don’t know if that works. Sorry!
cupcakes make me smile :)
Here’s what you need: (makes 4 cupcakes)
2 egg whites
1/2 cup almond flour
1/2 cup chopped super-ripe strawberries
tiny pinch of salt
1 tsp honey (SCD) or 2 dropper-fulls of alcohol free pure liquid stevia
Preheat oven to 350 degrees. In a medium-sized bowl, whisk the egg whites until they form medium peaks. Fold in your almond flour, salt and sweetener. Finally, fold in your strawberries.
Line a cupcake tin with 4 liners. Spoon 1/4 cup of the batter into each tin. Bake for 35 minutes, until a toothpick comes out clean.
These cupcakes were just the perfect sweet treat to celebrate. They were wonderful! The texture was amazing: light, airy, spongy, delicate. Just fabulous.
And the flavor was just outstanding! They weren’t overwhelmingly sweet – they were just right. They allowed the beautiful flavor of the strawberries to shine through! And there was a subtle nuttiness from the almond flour to compliment the fresh, sweet strawberries!
delightful strawberry flavor!
It was so nice to be able to enjoy a sweet dessert that was SCD-legal on my birthday. And let me tell ya, they were a hit! My mom loved them! We both had two! :)
Here’s to an awesome year. Starting today!
What’s your favorite kind of birthday cake? Growing up, I always had a Dairy Queen ice cream cake. What about you?
See ya tomorrow!
I got to use my stand mixer for these egg whites. This appliance is amazing. Here's the one I use and love: